Hold this frightened child

When I was three, the world felt sharp

Every sound could break my heart

His voice grew loud, I disappeared

My tiny body shook with fear

One crashing tone could stop my breath

I truly thought I’d face my death

I hid inside the smallest space

Believing danger filled the place

I told myself it must be me

Some flaw that he could always see

I tried to guess what made him mad

Thinking I caused everything bad

When he would spank me, I believed

It matched the wrongness inside of me

No hand to hold, no place to flee

Just fear and blame entwined in me

And that child still shakes inside

Carrying wounds she couldn’t hide

God, hold this frightened child

The one who thought she’d die alone

The one who carried shame like stone

For anger that was never hers

Lift her gently from that night

Show her she can live in light

Guide her heart until she sees

She’s loved, she’s safe, she’s meant to be

Now I’m grown, but in my mind

That terrified child is still confined

If someone’s angry, I still freeze

My heartbeat lost, my breath a plea

Old shame returns with every glance

I brace myself like I’ve no chance

I still believe I caused their rage

A story learned at such a young age

Before now she was hid from me

Guarding wounds too deep to see

God, hold this frightened child

The one who thought she’d die alone

The one who carried shame like stone

For anger that was never hers

Lift her gently from that night

Show her she can live in light

Guide her heart until she sees

She’s loved, she’s safe, she’s meant to be

Help her cry the tears she saved

Let her mourn the love she craved

Help her loosen every lie

That told her she would surely die

If someone near her felt upset

A fear that holds her captive yet

Teach her now she’s not to blame

For any other person’s pain

God, lift this wounded child

The one who feared each angry sound

The one who tried to fix their rage

While shrinking small at every stage

Wrap her in a steady peace

Show her where the terrors cease

Guide her gently till she sees

She’s whole, she’s loved, she’s safe… she’s free

God, let me be free